On Guilt, New Directions, And Overwork

First, with regards to guilt: I've been mean and nasty to people. Moreover, I haven't read my fiance's fanfic (but maybe in the near future I will. I just wish it wasn't slash.... *sigh* No blood, death, maiming or such, just angst. Oh cruel world! ) I was feeling guilty about all 3 research/independent study items on my calendar. But I feel better about at least one of them today because I contributed, there wasn't much done in my absence anyway, and there are plenty of others to take up the slack. Not to mention that there are plenty of other people who put in less work than I do and are asking for more credit. It makes me feel better. About the other two... well, I'll just have to see about those as they come. As a last item of guilty conscience, I missed mass on Good Friday and Easter. =(

Got my psych eval back: am apparently in possible need of counseling with regards to feelings of inadequacy. This is probably true. Not nice to have to read it though. Do feel the whole "attempts to work to bring harmony to the group in spite of possibly jeapordising team goals" is untrue. Anyone's who's ever worked with me knows I'm quite the slavedriver. The bit about needed to take more time to see what I want to do as opposed to what I feel others want me to do is definitely true, and I'm taking steps to work on that, as well as my own lack of self-directedness.

With that in mind, next semester's courseload is more or less finalised. It'll be interesting. I'll take organisational behavior with the Bus. Admin folks even though I'd probably hate it. I need to learn to deal with folks and I don't see anything wrong with throwing myself into the deep end. To be on the safe side, though, I'm prepared to change it to pass/fail at the drop of the hat. Just because I like a challenge doesn't mean I like losing... *grin*

Lab group may be shaking out a little. I can only cross my fingers and hope. I don't know what to do about A, but as the silly psych eval says, I like to look on the bright side of things, so here goes. I'm not inclined to feel much pity for her though. As far as I'm concerned, she's dug her own hole, and half dragged me down it with her. That is completely unacceptable.

I notice that these are awfully cryptic. Ah well, raise the issue with me and I can provide better explanations.

Oh, and overwork: I have been overworked this week, but it's petered out by this point. I took a break yesterday and today, so I'm going to start getting into the groove again tonight. I do feel the edges of ennui burnout, and am glad that the school year is largely over. Time to look forward to good things to come, not worry unduly about dissatisfaction with what's happening now. (after all, dissatisfaction is probably inevitable, isn't it?)