SLAY!
Because I just wanted to say that. Indulging in gleeful, wanton destruction is fun!
Thoughts and items:
Finally got more of my personal statement thingy written. It sounds like me ranting or a manifesto. But then again, what do you expect from someone who calls themselves Enforced Equanimity?
I have soooooo much work it boggles the imagination. Shall drown soon, I expect. Oh, whatever. I don't care!
Weather's turned. Its now rainy and wet. That sucks. Suits my mood though. Would prefer stroms, but then I always do.
About the whole "being a nice guy" thing. This is odd because one of you's my lover, another's someone I flirt with, and the last's my best friend. I don't really have much of an opinion, but here goes:
Men are nice to women generally because they want to screw. It may be a deep down, base level subconcious thing, but sadly sex is usually one of the main motivations for most male actions (in my experience). Add the fact that we're talking about actions involving women, and the probability that it's all about sex skyrockets. On the other hand, I won't hold the tendency against most men because its just the way we're all wired, and besides, how you do it and what comes of it is also extremely important.
So in individual responses:
LN: Love, its not so much insult (because, frankly, to be insulting, the guy has to be able to think this through. Very unlikely) as a play to get into your pants. Now, you can get mad at that if you wish...
WG: Be aware, as above, that most of the gallantry that you see is part of making a pass. Like I was saying to LN the other night: what happens when they open doors? You have to thank them (because that's courtesy) which involves talking to them and looking at them. Bam. Pass made. Would you have even bothered looking at the guy before then?
SS: Man, I think I lost you. But don't you agree that its all about sex?
Thinking about it: when I act "gallant," sometimes its because I'm flirting, sometimes its because I really care for someone and sometimes its because like LN said: I don't really put them in "person" box and put them in "girl" box instead. Must stop that. First two reasons are legitimate. The last... should only be done for people I don't like. Then again, if you do nice things for people you don't like, that's not getting the message across, is it? Rather say it with a severed head on a doorstep or (better!) an axe in the head.
About flirting: A lot of the time its a "I like you, and I'm attracted to you" thing. So in the process of flirting, I get attention, which makes me happy, and they get nice stuff, which makes them happy... Is it a bad thing if both parties come away with a benefit? From an economic standpoint, that's just like making the pie bigger by a more optimal allocation of resources. Utility functions go up and voila!
Think I shall hide under a rock now that I've managed to alienate my best friends and insult my entire gender...
Because I just wanted to say that. Indulging in gleeful, wanton destruction is fun!
Thoughts and items:
Finally got more of my personal statement thingy written. It sounds like me ranting or a manifesto. But then again, what do you expect from someone who calls themselves Enforced Equanimity?
I have soooooo much work it boggles the imagination. Shall drown soon, I expect. Oh, whatever. I don't care!
Weather's turned. Its now rainy and wet. That sucks. Suits my mood though. Would prefer stroms, but then I always do.
About the whole "being a nice guy" thing. This is odd because one of you's my lover, another's someone I flirt with, and the last's my best friend. I don't really have much of an opinion, but here goes:
Men are nice to women generally because they want to screw. It may be a deep down, base level subconcious thing, but sadly sex is usually one of the main motivations for most male actions (in my experience). Add the fact that we're talking about actions involving women, and the probability that it's all about sex skyrockets. On the other hand, I won't hold the tendency against most men because its just the way we're all wired, and besides, how you do it and what comes of it is also extremely important.
So in individual responses:
LN: Love, its not so much insult (because, frankly, to be insulting, the guy has to be able to think this through. Very unlikely) as a play to get into your pants. Now, you can get mad at that if you wish...
WG: Be aware, as above, that most of the gallantry that you see is part of making a pass. Like I was saying to LN the other night: what happens when they open doors? You have to thank them (because that's courtesy) which involves talking to them and looking at them. Bam. Pass made. Would you have even bothered looking at the guy before then?
SS: Man, I think I lost you. But don't you agree that its all about sex?
Thinking about it: when I act "gallant," sometimes its because I'm flirting, sometimes its because I really care for someone and sometimes its because like LN said: I don't really put them in "person" box and put them in "girl" box instead. Must stop that. First two reasons are legitimate. The last... should only be done for people I don't like. Then again, if you do nice things for people you don't like, that's not getting the message across, is it? Rather say it with a severed head on a doorstep or (better!) an axe in the head.
About flirting: A lot of the time its a "I like you, and I'm attracted to you" thing. So in the process of flirting, I get attention, which makes me happy, and they get nice stuff, which makes them happy... Is it a bad thing if both parties come away with a benefit? From an economic standpoint, that's just like making the pie bigger by a more optimal allocation of resources. Utility functions go up and voila!
Think I shall hide under a rock now that I've managed to alienate my best friends and insult my entire gender...
posted by Enforced Equanimity at 9:18 PM
4 Comments:
Ironically enough the economic standpoint actually made me laugh out loud thus creating 2 minutes of joy in my life that were before non existant and making the whole pie bigger :-p
Honestly though, you give girls too much credit and guys too little. Why should girls be any less motivated by sex or subconcious desires than guys?
Because I know my own gender and I'm feeling generous enough to give you guys the benefit of the doubt... Or its gallantry? XP
I think it's just remnants of social conditioning. (Or social history.) It was (and still is, in some societies) "improper" for females to display any manifestations of lust, and even more "improper" for males to show that they thought the females did. (Although I personally think that in the fluffy bedchambers, all these "improprieties" were defenestrated, but then doing it in the bedroom wasn't "improper".) So we eventually derived our thoughts from our actions, whereas the female side always knew otherwise.
And because in present society it's still generally more acceptable for a guy to go around emanating lust, whereas the Machiavellian females happily play along because knowledge is power and secrets are twice the power.
EEeeeeee.....would it be possible for you to bring back a packet of peanut m&m's for Cam when you come here? He loves them more than life itself and they don't sell them here. If there's any other peanut-and-chocolate candy you think is good that would be cool too, though a crazy amount would be, well, crazy :) You will be reimbursed for the cost of your mule-y-ness.
On the actual POINT:
I think there is certainly some subconscious element of attraction in such chivralry, though wouldn't go so far as labelling it a "pass". It's the same as the way people smile at those they're attaracted to, even if they would never actually want to get with them for practical/moral reasons. I know I've found myself very slightly flirting with guys to get them to do me a minor favour, though it's only slightly beyond the level of nice friendliness I extend towards girls in the same situation.
And of course any decent "gentleman" will be just as nice to ugly/old women, or it doesn't count :)
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